settling vs career satisfaction
I’ve been thinking a lot about the difference between settling and career satisfaction. I’m nearing the two year mark in my current role. Based on my previous track record, I should be really antsy about my career right now.
Except, I’m not.
For years now, like clockwork, I would get a new job, be happy for a year, and then spend the next year angling for a new role. Around two years in, I’d be promoted and the process would start anew. The constant need to move up was both motivating and challenging. An integral part of my identity was (is?) thinking of myself as an ambitious person with a plan. Moving up was great because it made me feel successful.
But, for some reason, even though I’m two years in, I feel really good about where I am. I’m not looking at a calendar and wondering when I’m going to hit the minimum requirement for years of experience to get promoted. I don’t even have a rough idea about where I want to go after this. In fact, I took this role with the understanding that there wasn’t anywhere to go—there’s no next level for me at the Media Lab. I’m the only career counselor in the building.
Obviously, one glaringly huge difference is that now I have a kid. When I was pregnant, I read all sorts of stuff about women pulling back from their careers, but I don’t think that’s it. In fact, I was two or three months pregnant when I applied for this job. I didn’t pull back then, and I haven’t now. But the experience of job searching while pregnant did give me insight into what the difference might be.
When I told my previous supervisor I was applying for the job at the Media Lab, she said she’d be happy to give me a glowing recommendation, but that I should consider whether or not I wanted a new job when there was so much new stuff (read: a baby) on the way. Wasn’t it a better idea to stick with something known? Something more stable? Sure, I didn’t have the most autonomy, but perhaps it was wise to stay in a role where I knew I could do a good job and then be able to just go home at the end of the day. I liked the work and my colleagues—wouldn’t it be less stressful this way?
I sincerely considered her point. This was someone I’d worked with for years—someone who knew me well. She was retiring soon and didn’t have an agenda. She’d raised two kids of her own. She knew what she was talking about. But there was also something about this setup that made me feel like I was settling. A bar had been set and I felt like I’d met it. And now I was just… lingering. It had been two years. I was antsy.
Needless to say, I did not stay in my old role. I went for the new shiny job where I’d get to develop career development resources and programs from scratch for a unique graduate student population. But it’s not new and shiny anymore, so why haven’t I dusted off my resume for updating?
Really, my work now isn’t even that different from before. I meet with students about their careers. I plan and run events. I curate and develop resources. On paper, it might as well be the same job. But now, I suppose, I have agency and autonomy in my role—I have control. I’m not executing someone else’s vision. I’m rolling out my own. And it’s hard. I get some wins and I get some losses. I feel like I’m on the precipice of figuring it all out, but I also think I’m going to be hanging out on this precipice for a long time. It’s thrilling. And maybe that’s the difference.
Even though both roles were so similar on the outside, this one has a longer runway for “almost figuring it out, but not quite.” I can’t settle if I have the power to constantly move the bar up. My motivation to do well also feels more intrinsic. I’m not pushing myself because a higher title is almost within reach. There is no higher title.
I’m still working out the particulars of this distinction between settling and career satisfaction. I’d love to know what you think the difference is. You can just reply to this email and it’ll go right to my inbox.
interesting reads
“It’s time to stop referring to maternity leave as ‘generous.’” Read here.
“LARPing your job: the way we try and show evidence that LOOK, OVER HERE, I AM WORKING” Read here.
cool jobs
BU has a Computational Artist in Residence program, which sounds fascinating. Apply here before June 15, 2019.
Been learning more about design agencies lately and they have the coolest jobs. Here’s one at Handsome for a Product Designer role. More info here.